Sometimes something as simple as moving a room around can make you feel so much better. Maybe it is just the fact that things are clean, or maybe it is that a new thing to look at makes it a little nicer, who knows. What I do know is that I feel good for this current moment. And that is all I can really as for.
The last couple of weeks honestly felt like an emotional roller coaster. I told myself that going on the trip to Reno was what I needed to do to change myself for the better. But to be honest all it did was reassure things that I already knew, and naturally when these not so happy things are reassured I got into a little bit of a dip in emotions. For some reason about half way through the trip I had a small emotional break. I cried for the first time in a long time and I still have zero idea why. I do not think I really want to know why I was crying. I am just glad that I got it out. Coming home as nice, however due to my small dip my mind was going a little crazy. Thankfully things that mellowed out and I have found my level ground, but it does make me realize that this ground my tip at any moment and it is time to change that.
So that is one reason why I made a small change. I moved my office around. Put myself next to a window and did a small amount of organizing. I just finished and I actually feel pretty good. Another thing that I have started to do is hit the actual gym. That is pretty crazy for me because words can not express how much I hate it. I do not mind working out, to me that is the easy part. The hard part is not wondering how many people are looking at me or comparing myself to others. I think this is a problem most of us have at the gym. Honestly the only reason I am going is because I have three months left on my two year contract that I never really used. I figure I am paying for it so I better go. But no matter how much I hate the gym I must say that I do feel a little good about it.
Small things can make you feel like a new person. It may not last for me but it is a start to putting stability under the ground I stand on. I hope that if i do enough of these small changes then I can remain level. I am not sure what small change is next but hopefully it is a fun one. I hope that all of you are doing so amazing. If you have any idea of good small, healthy changes please let me know. I love feedback!